work life

5 basic truths about Money and Happiness:

Jonathan Clements in his book How to Think about Money mentions 5 truths about money and happiness that I found particularly enlightening:

“Money can buy happiness, but not nearly as much as we imagine”

When I was in medical school living off of student loans, I didn’t have lots of money. I barely had enough to make ends meet and although I was relatively happy with lots of close friends and family support, I always believed that I’d be even happier if I had more money. Clements, in his book How to Think about Money provides some insight on this idea. He attests that although we can use money to increase our happiness, we can only do so up to a certain extent. A certain level of money will allow us to live more comfortably. We won’t have to worry about paying our bills. We can live in a nicer area, afford meaningful trips with our loved ones, and can purchase more of the things we like. However, that increase in happiness only goes so far. Although our happiness can increase with more money, it usually doesn’t increase to the level that we anticipate.

We place too much value on possessions and not enough value on experiences”

Many of us have, at some point in our lives, thought that if we had more money we could afford the thing(s) we want. While that may be a true statement, Clements, warns us against this type of thinking. Many of us overestimate how happy we will be when we purchase certain things. Unfortunately, any increase in happiness we get from purchasing a material possession is usually short-lived. To find more lasting happiness, Clements’ suggests that we focus more on experiences. Whenever we spend money on an experience, like a trip overseas, a visit to family, or a getaway vacation with our friends, we have much more happiness and it tends to last longer. We have joy in anticipation of the experience, happiness during the experience itself, and also have fond memories after the experience has ended that tend to get better with time. This is why Clements suggests that if we have extra money, we should forgo buying material things and instead opt for more experiences.

Spending money on others can deliver greater happiness than spending it on ourselves”

Ironically enough, when we use our money on our ourselves, we get less happiness than if we were to use the money on others. It sounds odd, but many people find that they have lasting joy when they do things for other people. It’s as if knowing we have helped someone else makes us think more positively about ourselves and the kind of person we are. The idea of being a kind and doing something to enhance someone else’s life brings us joy that lasts a lot longer than the temporary happiness we may get from buying ourselves something. Giving is one of the key ways to achieve lasting happiness.

“We adapt quickly to both good and bad developments in our lives.”

This quote may seem a bit odd but has a lot of truth. As humans, we are great at learning how to adapt. Life circumstances may change but we change and adjust accordingly. Although our mood may sway from time to time, the majority of us, have a natural inclination to adapt. Our flexibility is good for survival but can really make us scratch us our heads in regards to money. If we are living in poverty, living with less may bother us initially but we quickly learn to adjust to our life circumstances and find some sort of happiness, even while working harder to improve our finances. In contrast, if we find ourselves in a position where we are upper class, making more money than average, we adjust to that as well. Clements’ point is that our life circumstances, and “becoming rich” won’t give us the long-lasting happiness we may expect. The key, he states, is to focus on intangible sources of happiness like family, experiences, and giving to others.

“Happiness depends on how we stand relative to others and we each have genetic ‘set points’”

Another truth in Clements’ book is that our happiness is shaped by our comparisons. If we are doing the same as, or better than, people around us, we tend to feel much happier about ourselves. However, if we are doing worse than those with whom we compare ourselves, we tend to be less happy. Our baselines degree of happiness or “set point’ is based on genetics and how we were raised. If we come from an optimistic happy family, we tend to be happier at baseline than others. The point is to be mindful of your happiness set point and increase your happiness by refusing to compare yourself to others, especially to those you perceive may be doing better than you.

6 Questions To Help Determine Your Life Purpose:

 

One of my favorite finance books is How To Think About Money by Jonathan Clements. Along with helping reframe our view about money he also helps us rethink our lives in general. Here are 6 questions from his book that can help us determine our life purpose and overall goals.

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1. “If money were not an issue what would you do with your time?” Many of us are so accustomed to our lives. We go to our jobs 5-6 days a week and maintain our focus on paying bills and providing for our loved ones. However, thinking about what we would do with our lives if money were not an issue is an exercise worth pursuing. It can even help us determine our goals and passions in life. The remembrance of these interests could motivate us to pursue our dreams even more relentlessly than we have before.

2. “If you had to write your own obituary, what accomplishments would like to be remembered for?” Being given the task of writing down our achievements for people to remember after our death can help us think about which accomplishments truly matter to us. More importantly, it helps us prioritize our achievements. We get a better sense of which goals mean the most to us and can better understand the achievements that may have defined our lives. This question can also help us think about the mark we think we’re leaving in the world and give us a better idea about which future goals and accomplishments we should work toward.

3. “Think back over your life. When were you the happiest and what were you doing?” Many of us start our careers by making decisions for ourselves, but as we get older with more responsibilities we begin to consider the needs and thoughts of others as well. Although it is good practice to keep the desires of others in our minds, we must not forget about the things that make us truly happy – like quality time with our families, priceless moments with our friends, the feeling of accomplishment after giving a great presentation or the joy felt after seeing our dreams finally come into fruition. Thinking about our happiest moments can center us. It can encourage us in tough times and serve as a great reminder about the things that truly matter in life. The busier we are, the more important it is to keep these things in mind.

4. “If you had enough money to cover your financial needs for the rest of your life, would you change your life, and if so, how?” This question makes us really think about how we spend our time and how we are living our lives. Are the things we do each day and the careers we chose things we do just for money or is there some other tangible benefit? If we are only doing certain jobs because of the money we earn then perhaps we should consider switching to something else that might bring us more happiness or meaning. Life is too short not to find happiness in our jobs and free time.

5. “If your doctor told you that you only had 5-10 years left to live but that you’d feel fine up until the end, would you change your life and if so how?” Instead of focusing on how money may have influenced our career decisions, this question asks us something different. What are our life priorities? If we know we have limited time on earth, what are the things we want to accomplish with the time we have left? Perhaps we’ve always wanted to write a book, travel to a certain country, start a charity, or raise children. This question makes us really think about the “big” things in life and challenges us to prioritize them now since life isn’t promised to us.

6. “If your doctor tells you that you only have a single day left to live. What do you think you would have missed out on? What would you be sad you didn’t get to do?” Answering this question can help us determine what we must do in our lives. What I like about this last question is that it isn’t just about accomplishments or goals. It can also be about the “little” things in life that mean a lot to us. Did we treat people the way wanted to? Did we spend our time on earth doing what we loved? Did we prioritize our family? Would we be happy with the life we have lived? If the answer to any of these questions is no, we should actively work on changing our lives, NOW.

As you answer these questions above, I hope it makes you think about your life, priorities, achievements, and future goals. Working through these scenarios can help us determine what’s truly important to us. Who knows, it may even be the key to unlocking a lifetime of happiness.

 

I go to therapy and you should too. Here’s why:

 
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1. It can be helpful for anyone. There are many preconceived notions about therapy. Some people think it’s for “crazy” patients while others think it’s only useful after you’ve exhausted other options. Some people believe it’s an expensive luxury reserved for the rich while others view it as a last resort for those who have dismissed organized religion. None of these things are true. Therapy can be helpful for anyone. The sessions range in price and you can find a licensed professional that matches your religious preferences or who specializes in a certain area of your choosing. It’s not just for those who have mental health disorders, it can be beneficial for anyone regardless of what may be occurring in your life.

2. It can help you better handle stress and acute life events. One of the key benefits of therapy is that it helps you better navigate through things. As many of you know by now, life has its ups and downs. Some moments you may be filled with happiness in your home life or career and other times you may be struggling with sickness or stress at your job. Going to therapy can help you gain the skills and tools needed to get through those tough times effectively. Talking to a licensed therapist who isn’t a close family member or friend allows you to vent to someone who can give you unbiased advice.

3. It can be “exercise for the mind.” Although many people start going to therapy because they need help dealing with a tough time in their lives or find themselves suffering from depression or anxiety, many others go as daily maintenance. Just as you exercise as a way to stay in physical shape and decrease your chance of getting a chronic disease, therapy can be viewed in a similar manner. Some professionals actually think of it as “exercise for the mind.” It helps keep your mind sharp and provides you with the strategies needed to better deal with stress, life changes, and unforeseen events. When challenging times occur in your life, you are less likely to be negatively affected by it and can use the tools from therapy to deal with these events in a productive manner.

 4. It can pinpoint problematic behaviors in a non-judgmental way. One of the unique things about therapy is that it challenges you to find your “why.” You’ll have to search within yourself to find the reason you act and think the way you do. During this process, you may even discover that some of your thoughts and behaviors aren’t as effective or productive as you once believed. As you do this self-reflection, your therapist can help pinpoint any problematic behaviors in a non-judgmental way. For example, my therapist helped me see that I depend on the approval of others in an unhealthy way and understand how that need for approval was impacting the decisions I made in my life. I may not have been as receptive to this critique if it was coming from someone in my family or one of my friends, but to have it come from a therapist who has no personal connection to me really made me want to change.

5. It can help you heal from past traumas and give you a new perspective on life. Besides helping you deal with certain life events and better function with certain mental disorders, chronic conditions, or lifestyle changes, therapy is also really great for helping you get more satisfaction from life in general. It can help reshape your outlook on your family, career, and relationships and help you approach life with more gratitude and zeal than before. My therapist asked me questions I’d never been asked before that really made me question why I act, think, and behave the way I do. I was challenged to think about the ways my childhood shaped my personality and why I have the goals and ambitions I do now. Just thinking about these questions helped me gain a new perspective on my life. Even if you feel things are good for you at the current moment, why not give it a try?

 

Key Lessons from 2019 to Bring into 2020:

 
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1. Meaningful relationships with family and friends can add so much joy to your life. As a busy physician I can sometimes forget how important a personal life is to our overall well-being. Having close friends outside of work to socialize with or plan fun weekend activities makes my life so much more enjoyable. Having family around to relieve stress and keep me grounded helps me remain focused on what’s most important. With close personal relationships, I find myself happier at work, even in the most trying of times. I’m more positive, more optimistic, and even have increase job satisfaction. In 2020 I will continue to prioritize personal relationships.

2. Happiness is a choice—positivity, in the most trying situations, can improve your mental health. Many of us chose to work in health care to help heal various illnesses and provide people with second chances through medicine.  Despite our altruistic motives, there are some parts of our job that can steal our joy. From ever increasing administrative work, patients expressing frustration over costs/wait times that are often times beyond our control, to rising pressure to compromise quality patient care in lieu of “efficiency,” work can seem less enjoyable. Despite these challenges, I’ve learned that happiness is a choice. Positivity, even in the most trying situation can improve our mental health. Finding the silver lining, even when it seems to be hiding, can alter our mood and outlook for the rest of the day. There are many reasons to feel frustrated or upset but choosing happiness and positivity makes things so much better.

3. Finding ways to relieve stress is necessary to prevent burnout. Although happiness is a choice, finding ways to relieve stress is integral. As a resident doctor who works crazy hours with high expectations, work can be stressful. In order to have longevity in my career and actually wake up each day excited for what it may bring, I have to relieve stress. For me, that means going to a hip-hop spin class, having brunch with my girlfriends, enjoying a football game with my brothers, or sometimes just relaxing at home with a piece of chocolate and a savory glass of red wine. Whichever the method, it’s important to have reliable ways to relieve stress.

4. Financial stress can be avoided by using a budget and sticking to a spending/saving plan. Learning about personal finance is integral to our future. It’s so easy to live the lavish doctor lifestyle with a large house, expensive car, and limitless luxury purchases largely paid for with debt and credit cards, but those decisions can put us into a perilous situation down the line. As a grad student, I made some horrible financial decisions (buying things I didn’t need on credit cards, moving to a city I couldn’t afford, and living above my means when I finally did start making decent money). Trust me, it is taking a lot of effort to right these wrongs now. Instead of investing as much as I want for retirement or putting more money into a high-yield savings account, I spent a good chunk of each check paying off credit card debt I racked up in my early 20s. Now that I’ve nearly paid it all off, I’ve vowed to be better in 2020. Having to correct previous mistakes is always more costly than we think. Learning to stick to a budget, live below my means, and follow a set financial plan is a never-ending exercise in self-discipline that has set me on a clear path to financial independence in the coming years

5. Writing down goals and creating accountability can help you achieve more overall. I learned a while ago that a goal without a timeline is just a dream and a goal without a plan is just a wish.  In order to make sure I achieved my goals, I decided to write down them down along with some concrete objectives and action steps. Doing so has helped me create accountability and drastically increased my chance of success. I definitely plan to continue this practice in 2020. If I truly want to go higher, achieve more, and have continued success then I need to be constantly striving for more and putting safeguards in place to remind me of my goals and motivate me on the journey. Writing down my goals and placing them on my bathroom mirror forces me to look at them each morning and be reminded of the bigger picture.

6. The people you surround yourself with have a major influence on your life choices, decisions, and accomplishments. The people we surround ourselves with, listen to, and speak with have a major influence on our life. We begin to think about what we constantly hear and we begin to believe what we are repetitively told. When I started interacting with friends who were very religious, I too gained more zeal and faith. When I started meeting up with young professionals were business-minded with multiple side hustles I too began to think of ways to create additional revenue streams. When I conversed with doctors in the hospital who were positive despite the challenges, I too became more optimistic about my job. In 2020 lets think about who we want to become and surround ourselves with more people that embody those traits.

What are some key lessons you learned in 2019, that you are bringing into 2020?