1. Create Your Own Happiness. Happiness can come in many different forms. Some people love to try new foods and travel. Other people like to relax on their couch and watch a new television show or spend time with family. As adults, it’s vital that you figure out what makes you happy and ensure that your happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else. Although there’s nothing wrong with inviting others to share experiences, you have to be comfortable creating your own happiness that doesn’t depend on someone else. Take some time to figure out what things you enjoy regardless of who is around you. Learn to make your own self happy instead of relying on others.
2. Define Success for Yourself. As you continue to progress in your career, there are things your co-workers, bosses, friends, or even family members feel may “mark” your success. Perhaps it’s when you make a certain salary, find a long-term partner, start having children, or travel to certain places? While all of these things may be sources of enjoyment, it’s important that you take a step back and learn to define success for yourself. What does success mean to you? It’s important for you to create a life that YOU like and that YOU enjoy. Maybe success to you means reaching a certain level at work or achieving a certain milestone in your personal life, but it also may be something entirely different. Take a few minutes and define success for yourself.
3. Put Yourself and Your Mental Health First. Life has its amazing moments, but it can also be challenging at times. Certain things in your life that may not go according to plan and unexpected occurrences can serve as a source of added stress. It’s vital that you take the time to invest in your mental health and gain the tools needed to deal with life’s challenging moments in better ways. Recognize when you should keep pushing yourself while also knowing when you need to take a break. Although you may be tempted to make other people, projects, or responsibilities a higher priority, don’t neglect your mental health.
4. Pursue Your Passions. Life is not guaranteed. Make use of your time today. Figure out your passions and pursue them as best you can. If you aren’t sure what your passions are, write down a list of things you are good at, things you enjoy, and things other people compliment you about or “pick your brain” on. You may not have as much time in the future as you do right now. Take advantage of the current state you are in and pursue your passions. Perhaps you want to start a business, create a product, or work for a different company. Life is too short not to spend it working in the area you love doing the things you enjoy.
5. Enjoy every season of life. Don’t get so focused on looking to the future that you forget to enjoy the “now.” If you’re single, use the extra time you have to learn about an area that excites you, pick up a new skill, or grind it out working so that you can build up your finances. If you’re someone who is in a relationship, invest time getting to know that person and create a foundation that can withstand the test of time. If you’re a parent, enjoy all the priceless moments you have with your kids at every stage. If you’re someone who is focused on your career or are new to the city, find ways to enhance your skills and cultivate friendships that can last a lifetime. Instead of always looking ahead, take time to enjoy the season of life you are in.
6 Life Quotes To Remember from Ego is the Enemy
Here are 6 of my favorite life quote from Ryan Holiday’s book Ego is the Enemy.
1. “It takes a special kind of humility to grasp that you know less, even as you know and grasp more and more.” As highly educated young professionals, we have a high level of intellect. Many of us are specialists at one thing or another and this expertise has allowed us to become quite successful. However, we must not let our education blind us to our shortcomings. In Ego is the Enemy, Holiday reminds us that as we continue to learn and progress, we should realize that there is even more knowledge to be gained and additional nuances to understand that we never knew existed. We must not get so “smart” that we think we know it all. Instead, we must remain humble and realize that there are still many things we don’t yet know and may need to learn.
2. “Your ability to listen, to hear feedback, to improve and grow matter more now than ever before.” Holiday goes on to plead with us to “learn from everyone and everything. At every stop and every juncture in life, there is the opportunity to learn—and even if the lesson is purely remedial, we must not let ego block us from hearing it again.” With these two quotes Holiday is letting us know that our quest for knowledge shouldn’t end when we graduate a program or reach a certain level of success. We must, instead, remain intellectually curious and humble enough to take feedback and be open to criticism. I’d even go so far as to say that we must create an environment that welcomes this sort of feedback. The higher we climb, the more people may be reluctant to be as honest or as critical as they once were. Ironically, it is this level of candidness that we need to keep evolving over time. We must be open to feedback and create a safe space for others to provide it. Then be committed to changing and becoming best versions of ourselves.
3. “Sit down and think about what’s truly important to you. Then take steps to forsake the rest. Without this, success will not be pleasurable or nearly as complete as it should be.” Holiday goes on to explain that this is crucial when it comes to money. If we don’t know how much we need, the default is easily “more” and without thinking critical energy is diverted from a person’s calling toward filling a bank account. In fact, Holiday goes on to warn that “Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose.” In other words, we become so obsessed with impressing other people that we began to seek an unhealthy amount of outside approval regarding our life partners, career choices, and other personal life decisions. Doing so may help us look good to others, but we may sacrifice our calling and purpose in the process.
4. “With success, particularly power, come some of the greatest and most dangerous delusions: entitlement, control, and paranoia. Entitlement says this is mine and my time is more valuable than yours. Control says It must be done my way. Paranoia says I can’t trust anyone.” Holiday later goes on to explain that when we erroneously think that our problems or situations are so vastly unique from others, we begin to think of ourselves more highly than we ought and become out of touch with the very people who helped us get to where we are. We mustn’t let power allow us to become entitled or seek control over everything. We must be humble enough to realize that while no one is infallible, the quality of our work and the strength of our relationships with others will help provide the sustainability we crave.
5. “Ego needs honors to feel validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external validation.” We can’t let our ego get so big that we become obsessed with validation, awards, and recognition from others. We must have confidence in our abilities but remain humble enough and committed enough to try our best whether people notice our efforts or not. Awards and honors are nice, but we can’t be so obsessed with them that we let their presence or lack thereof dictate what we will and won’t do. We have to do the work and remain committed to goal of excellence regardless. Holiday even goes a step further by telling us to “maintain our sobriety.” He’s not talking about abstinence from alcohol or drugs but rather separation from the addiction of creating the perfect image or thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. We mustn’t treat people beneath or above us with contempt or be so demanding that we reject good opportunities or alienate people close to us. We have to instead remain sober and stay humble.
6. “If you want to live happy, live hidden” Holiday mentions this old adage to remind us that “most successful people are people we have never heard of.” What’s more glaring about this is that it’s not like these unknown people are upset about being hidden or secretly crave recognition. In fact, it’s the opposite. Many successful people prefer to be hidden from the public eye because it keeps them “sober.” it protects them from a developing an ego or dependence on external rewards and validation. It allows them to instead focus on their purpose and do their jobs skillfully without pride and entitlement. They live a life they desire with the people they love without allowing the need for external validation to ruin it.
Tell me, which quote of above resonates with you the most?
Priceless Advice for the Holiday Season
This is one of my favorite times of the year. Thanksgiving dinner with my family, cool air that calls for cute winter clothes, and holiday festivities that invoke the spirit of love and positivity. As we embark on this season, inevitable holiday sales may tempt us more than we can imagine. In order to deal with this temptation and stay within our budgets, we may need a little motivation to help us practice self-control. Here are a few of my favorite money quotes for the holiday season:
“No amount of money or success can take the place of time spent with family.” – I love this quote because it reminds me of what’s most important. In my quest to find the perfect holiday gift, advance in my career, and make the most lucrative investments I can, I am reminded that it’s quality time with my family that matters the most. This quote also gives me permission to take a day off from writing articles or put my phone down for a couple hours to enjoy a holiday movie, have a large family meal, or bond with my brothers over a football game.
“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money.” Abigail Van Buren coined these words and although I’ve never met her and don’t have children, this quote still resonates with me. When I reflect on my childhood and the holiday season, I have so many fond memories. Not because my father bought us the most expensive gifts or because we took the most elaborate vacations, but because we spent plenty of time together. My brothers and I went on to become the Vice President of a large corporation, a financial analyst, and a medical doctor, respectively, because of the life lessons and shared support we gave to one another. Whenever I’m stressed about spending money on gifts, I remind myself that what I lack in money I can make up for in quality time.
“Don’t save what left after spending, but spend what’s left after saving.” This Warren Buffet quote helps me keep my priorities straight, especially during the Christmas season. Black Friday is quickly approaching and I’m always tempted to spend much more than I had planned. When I was a young graduate student living in DC I’d often purchase items “on sale,” then spend the rest of the month praying that I had enough money to cover my remaining expenses. Fast forward to my current life as a doctor, and I’m definitely doing things differently. I have money in certain accounts reserved for bills. I also have money in a “holiday account” through which I saved money during the year so that the gifts I plan to purchase don’t dismantle my financial goals. I’ve learned to make sure my bills are paid, save a certain amount each month, and only spend what’s leftover.
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” This Winston Churchill quote is something I try to remember throughout the year, especially during the holiday season. While I have several financial goals, money alone does not bring happiness and meaning to life. Instead, it’s the spirit of generosity and how we seek to positively influence the lives of those around us. Rather than only thinking of myself and my family, I try to remember those in need and give to other charities and organizations as well.
Tell me, what are some of your favorite money quotes for the holiday season?