Here are 6 of my favorite life quote from Ryan Holiday’s book Ego is the Enemy.
1. “It takes a special kind of humility to grasp that you know less, even as you know and grasp more and more.” As highly educated young professionals, we have a high level of intellect. Many of us are specialists at one thing or another and this expertise has allowed us to become quite successful. However, we must not let our education blind us to our shortcomings. In Ego is the Enemy, Holiday reminds us that as we continue to learn and progress, we should realize that there is even more knowledge to be gained and additional nuances to understand that we never knew existed. We must not get so “smart” that we think we know it all. Instead, we must remain humble and realize that there are still many things we don’t yet know and may need to learn.
2. “Your ability to listen, to hear feedback, to improve and grow matter more now than ever before.” Holiday goes on to plead with us to “learn from everyone and everything. At every stop and every juncture in life, there is the opportunity to learn—and even if the lesson is purely remedial, we must not let ego block us from hearing it again.” With these two quotes Holiday is letting us know that our quest for knowledge shouldn’t end when we graduate a program or reach a certain level of success. We must, instead, remain intellectually curious and humble enough to take feedback and be open to criticism. I’d even go so far as to say that we must create an environment that welcomes this sort of feedback. The higher we climb, the more people may be reluctant to be as honest or as critical as they once were. Ironically, it is this level of candidness that we need to keep evolving over time. We must be open to feedback and create a safe space for others to provide it. Then be committed to changing and becoming best versions of ourselves.
3. “Sit down and think about what’s truly important to you. Then take steps to forsake the rest. Without this, success will not be pleasurable or nearly as complete as it should be.” Holiday goes on to explain that this is crucial when it comes to money. If we don’t know how much we need, the default is easily “more” and without thinking critical energy is diverted from a person’s calling toward filling a bank account. In fact, Holiday goes on to warn that “Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose.” In other words, we become so obsessed with impressing other people that we began to seek an unhealthy amount of outside approval regarding our life partners, career choices, and other personal life decisions. Doing so may help us look good to others, but we may sacrifice our calling and purpose in the process.
4. “With success, particularly power, come some of the greatest and most dangerous delusions: entitlement, control, and paranoia. Entitlement says this is mine and my time is more valuable than yours. Control says It must be done my way. Paranoia says I can’t trust anyone.” Holiday later goes on to explain that when we erroneously think that our problems or situations are so vastly unique from others, we begin to think of ourselves more highly than we ought and become out of touch with the very people who helped us get to where we are. We mustn’t let power allow us to become entitled or seek control over everything. We must be humble enough to realize that while no one is infallible, the quality of our work and the strength of our relationships with others will help provide the sustainability we crave.
5. “Ego needs honors to feel validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external validation.” We can’t let our ego get so big that we become obsessed with validation, awards, and recognition from others. We must have confidence in our abilities but remain humble enough and committed enough to try our best whether people notice our efforts or not. Awards and honors are nice, but we can’t be so obsessed with them that we let their presence or lack thereof dictate what we will and won’t do. We have to do the work and remain committed to goal of excellence regardless. Holiday even goes a step further by telling us to “maintain our sobriety.” He’s not talking about abstinence from alcohol or drugs but rather separation from the addiction of creating the perfect image or thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. We mustn’t treat people beneath or above us with contempt or be so demanding that we reject good opportunities or alienate people close to us. We have to instead remain sober and stay humble.
6. “If you want to live happy, live hidden” Holiday mentions this old adage to remind us that “most successful people are people we have never heard of.” What’s more glaring about this is that it’s not like these unknown people are upset about being hidden or secretly crave recognition. In fact, it’s the opposite. Many successful people prefer to be hidden from the public eye because it keeps them “sober.” it protects them from a developing an ego or dependence on external rewards and validation. It allows them to instead focus on their purpose and do their jobs skillfully without pride and entitlement. They live a life they desire with the people they love without allowing the need for external validation to ruin it.
Tell me, which quote of above resonates with you the most?