As someone who spent most of my most of my life in school or training, delayed gratification is something I know firsthand. There are so many things I was unable to purchase or trips I couldn’t take during my twenties due to cost or scheduling conflicts that delayed gratification become quite the norm. Although it made me sad initially, I got used to it and now as I look back I realize that this helped develop me into the person I am today. Those times I spent in school delaying gratification had several benefits:
1. Taught me to live within my means
Spending 4 years in undergrad, then electing to get a master’s degree and doctorate degree meant that I spent most of my time as a full-time student. It also means that I spent most of my life not working. The one full year I did work, I lived in an expensive city and barely made enough to cover my rent, let alone “enjoy life.” By my mid twenties I owed so much money in student loans that I couldn’t fathom racking up even more debt for unnecessary things. This period of financial instability forced me to live within my means. For most of my years in school I lived off of bi-annual lump sum student loan checks. I had to budget how much I could spend each month knowing that if I didn’t keep track of my expenses, I may not have money for food during the last few weeks of the semester. I purchased items that were on sale, didn’t travel much, and tried to stay away from the malls. My roommate and I spent the weekends finding sources of free entertainment avoiding expensive outings and restaurants. Although I liked the finer things in life, this period of my life forced me to be happy with less and live within my means.
2. Helped me learn to stop comparing myself to others
For most of my twenties I was a broke college student, or post-graduate student, who couldn’t do the things that most people with stable careers could do. My friends from undergrad would go on elaborate international vacations, purchase the newest smartphones, or drive luxury cars but I couldn’t do any of that. The only vacations I took were trips that were funded by parents which were few and far between. The only time I traveled was to visit family or go on some recruiting trip or national conference for whatever school I attended at the time. Because I couldn’t live like some of the other people my age and realized it would be a long time before I would have the money to upgrade my lifestyle, I had to learn to stop comparing myself to other people. Constantly envying what they had would drive me insane. My mental health depended on my ability to be genuinely happy for others without any associated jealousy or animosity. As I look back on my life, that habit of not comparing myself to others has been extremely helpful. Nowadays, when I look on social media and see something I like, I use it as a source of inspiration to work even harder and can be happy for those around me and remain satisfied with my own life.
3. Made me less materialistic
One of the good things about having to delay gratification so long in my life is that I no longer need nice things in order to be happy. I drive a cheap used car that is in dire need of a new paint job. I don’t own really expensive designer handbags and most of my clothes were purchased on sale or with a discount. Although I make a decent amount of money today, living as a student for most of my life made me less materialistic. I no longer run out to purchase things just because I can afford them which means I have a lot more money left over each month than I would have otherwise. Instead of using money to buy more “stuff,” I have more funds available to save and invest for the future.
4. Forced me to prioritize the intangible things in life
Having to delay getting many of the things I desired forced me to find other things that would make me happy. Although I would love to travel more, buy new clothes, purchase a dream home or drive a better car, I’m happy and content while I wait. All those years of delayed gratification taught me that my worth as a person is not dependent on how much money I have or how fancy my lifestyle is. I started doing things to make myself happy and stopped looking to others for approval and validation based on what I have. Nowadays, I am more focused on the intangible things in life. I strive to strengthen relationships with my family and friends each day. I recognize the importance of sacrificing now for future benefits so I prioritize saving and investing for the future. I once heard someone state that one of the things she learned in her twenties was that the benefits of discipline, hard work, and delayed gratification are bigger than one could ever imagine. For me, this couldn’t be truer.