5 Life Lessons from the book: You are a Badass

For those who may not know me personally, I love to read. Although many of the books are about finance and investing, I learn a lot from reading other topics as well. The self-help books inspire me to do more with my life and the autobiographies/memoirs from celebrities allow me to escape my own reality and delve deep enough into their world that I can learn from their struggles and share in their triumphs.
 
One of the books I just finished was You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. It’s a New York Times Bestseller and was suggested by someone I trust so I decided to check it out. The book was great and there are some key life lessons we could all glean from it. Here are 5 of the key takeaways below:

1. “Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits, and our habits become our realities.” In other words: You are in control of your destiny. What you end up doing and accomplishing in your life depends a great deal on what you believe is possible. What you believe is possible depends on what you tell yourself and what you think about yourself each day. If you want to change your reality, change your thoughts and beliefs. For me, that means saying positive words of affirmation each morning. It means reading devotionals and inspirational stories that help open my mind to what is possible. I tell myself I am smart and intelligent to help increase my confidence before heading to work each day. I tell myself that I will approach every situation as an opportunity to grow so I can view situations more positively. I tell myself that I am loved so I never doubt my self-worth. What things do you tell yourself? What beliefs do you have? What thoughts do you think? Your answers will shape your reality.

2. “Do yourself a favor and use irritating situations and people as opportunities for growth, not pain.”  We have all been in numerous situations, either at work or at home, that have been irritating or annoying. Perhaps one of our co-workers is being unreasonable, one of your children refuses to stop talking, or you come home to a messy kitchen that you just cleaned the day before. Instead of letting these situations frustrate you or put you in a negative mood, why not use them as an opportunity to grow? Whenever I have hard days or a series of negative things happen in my life, I change my thinking and view it as a “character-building” opportunity. Instead of lamenting subpar situations, use them as a chance to grow.

3. “Procrastination is one of the most popular forms of self-sabotage.”  There is no guarantee that you’ll have time tomorrow to do the things you are putting off today. Something may come up or take precedence that you didn’t expect. Don’t delay on your dreams. Don’t keep pushing off your goals. Recognize that there is no time like the present. Are there things you want to accomplish before you get married or have children? Are there things you want to do before you reach middle-age? Come up with a plan to start working on them now. You don’t want to look back on your life a year from now or 5 years from now and have regrets. Don’t delay on your destiny.

4. “Don't answer the phone or reply to texts while you're busy. Other people's needs can occupy several lifetimes' worth of our attention, and if you let them, they will.” Prioritize yourself. Set boundaries for yourself. Protect your time. If you are working on a creative project then put your phone away, dig your heels into the ground, and focus on the task at hand. While you can be available to others numerous times throughout the day, it is also important to carve out time for yourself that you can use to focus or recharge. If you constantly allow other people’s phone calls, text messages, and social media alerts to distract you, you will delay your own progress and find yourself engulfed in other people’s problems and issues. Put yourself first.

5. “The people you surround yourself with are excellent mirrors for who you are and how much, or how little, you love yourself.” Be mindful of the company you keep. Your friends are a reflection of the values you cherish. Are you around people who are of good character and who constantly strive to do the right thing? Are you around people who challenge you to view things with a different perspective, who are givers, who are ambitious? If not, re-examine your friend group. You will become like the people you hang around most. If you do don’t like who you’d become, then change your friends. Add people to your inner circle who challenge you, inspire you, and motivate you to be a better version of yourself.

5 Money Tips I Learned from My Parents

As we head into the holiday season, many of us will reflect on the things and people for which we are most grateful. For me, that’d be my parents. Not only were they kind enough to have me, their 3rd child after my two older brothers nearly drove them insane, but they also loved me unconditionally and attempted to teach me several life lessons that can be applied to my finances. Here are 5 money tips learned from my parents:

1. You don’t need to be rich to be happy. Unlike many of my physician colleagues who grew up in a family full of medical professionals, my upbringing was much different. With my mother working as a teacher and my father spending the early years of my life working as a non-tenured professor at the local community college, I didn’t grow up rich. Nevertheless, my childhood was amazing. I had plenty of friends in our neighborhood and school. I was extremely involved in our local church and a plethora of after-school activities. The bills were paid, my parents collaborated as a cohesive unit, and I had very few complaints. Finding contentment without being rich, isn’t that strange of a concept. A large analysis done a couple years ago showed that the ideal amount of money for emotional well-being is $75,000 per year. Most people reach peak satisfaction by making around $95,000 a year, but making more money than that can actually decrease your happiness.

2. Making more money may require you to sacrifice time with your family. Before my father started working as a professor, he was very involved in business. He was the general manager of a large department store by the age of 22 and was quickly moving up the corporate ladder soon afterwards. Despite the high pay and rapid promotions, 5 years later, he gave it all up.  He liked the work and got along well with his coworkers, but he quit to spend more time with his family. As he climbed the corporate ladder, he started spending more and more time away from home, away from my mother, and away from his children. He resented the fact that his own father was never home as he grew up and had vowed to more present with his own kids. After saving up a nice nest egg in a “transition account,” he quit his job. My father became a stay-at-home dad for 3 years while he launched his own small business and did some accounting work for his brother’s businesses. While I’m sure our family’s finances took a huge hit, my father will tell you it’s the best decision he ever made. He helped me do my homework each night, picked my brothers up from baseball practice each day, and ate dinner with us each night. He realized that quality time with family can make you happier than money ever will.

3. Live below your means. When I was about 12 years old, my father started working as an auditor within the federal government. With this job, came a substantial increase in pay. Within a few years he had paid off our home, our cars, and built up his retirement savings.  Despite this increase in income, our lives didn’t change much. My father only allowed us to get new clothes once a year, he refused to take us to restaurants with entrée prices over $25, and total Christmas gift spending was still capped at $150 per kid. We kept living in our 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house with furniture we’d had for well over 10 years. I thought this was crazy since we could afford to live more elaborately, but my father refused to budge. He believed in the art of saving for a rainy day and did not want his family to become materialistic or spoiled.

4. Invest in your kids and give to others. My parents wanted to make sure my brothers and I had a fulfilling childhood. We were involved in several sports, played band instruments, and spent a great deal of time forging strong bonds with our extended family. I’m sure many of these things were not cheap but instead of keeping it all to themselves, my parents choose to invest in their children. Along with using money on us, they were also firm believers in the virtue of generosity. As Christians, they gave 10% of their income to the church and donated additional money to various charities and organizations. Again, I’m sure this is money my parents could have used on a bigger home or fancier cars but instead they chose to invest in their kids and give to others. While my parents had fewer material things, they definitely gained more life satisfaction and appreciation for what they had by investing in their children and giving money to others.

5. Everyone’s definition of success is different. As I was deciding what field of medicine to specialize in, I faced a dilemma. The specialty I liked most (family medicine) wasn’t the one that was going to make me seem as smart and accomplished in front of others. It also wasn’t the one that was going to pay me the most money in comparison to other fields. After hearing me vent to him for nearly an hour about my “impossible decision,” my father said something I’ll never forget: “At some point, you have to let go of the opinions of others. At some point, you have to define happiness and success for yourself.” His words helped me see that success isn’t about having the most prestigious job and happiness doesn’t come from making the most money. We each have to determine what success means for us and find happiness in the simple things that fill us with joy, even if it looks different from someone else.

Tell me, what tips and words of advice did you learn from your parents or loved ones?